I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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