He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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