My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
