Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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