Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She is in my trunk
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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