Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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