oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize