Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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