i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
