i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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