ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
