Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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