I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
