butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
