Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
