she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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