I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
