i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am midnight drunk by noon
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
