Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
