why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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