My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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