He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
