it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
