Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
