Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
