you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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