guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
