Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
