im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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