I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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