I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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