What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize