Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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