my vag is so smooth its legendary
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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