I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
