Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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