you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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