i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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