I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
