you would pick up someone in the library
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
