hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
