no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
