She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
