The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
