I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
