You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
