Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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