ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
