Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
