Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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