I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
