it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
