what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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