the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
