i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
