you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think your dad took our porno
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
