Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
