There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
