Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
